are FAT, you look nasty.
are SKINNY, you are on drugs.
DRESSED UP, you are conceited.
SPEAK YOUR MIND, you are a B*TCH.
DON'T SAY ANYTHING, you are rude.
are SWEET TOWARD STRANGERS, you are fake.
CRY, you are a drama queen.
have MALE FRIENDS, you are a wh*re.
have FEMALE FRIENDS, you are a player.
Living 24 years of my life, I have been humiliated and humiliate others; bullied and bully others; lied and lie to others; hated and hate others; judged and judge others; etc. I am not proud of what I have done in my past actions and genuinely sorry for those I have done wrong. I am not expecting them to forgive me nor to I beg of them to. It is their choice to forgive or not. But I have never regrets a single action I have done for those had happened will never change if I regret. And those mistakes had made me who I am today. I may not forget, but I learnt to forgive my enemies and people that I used to hate for making a short period of my life miserable.
Forgiving is the most generous thing I have ever done not only to the people I used to hate, also for myself. I can breathe easy and throw away those bad thoughts I had on them. I can finally smile and step forward to a brighter day.
I put a piece of principle within me and try to live with it. I DON'T HATE any more. I may dislike things or people but I don't hate. HATE, is a very negative emotion. It is a bad emotion that would consume yourself and anything you are trying to accomplish.
Then comes judging. I remember when I was young, like 4 or 5, may be 6 or 7, I remember that I want to have a lot of friends and do not care about their background or how they look. Every one of my friends seems perfect. But the school system, yeah lets just blame the school, taught us to dress nicely if you are a good person; comb your hair because that is one a good person do; speak eloquently because that is what a good person should do. So when another kids got punishment because she forgot to wear her belt for her uniform or his hair is long and unruly or her shoes is torn and dirty or his nails are as long as the the eagle claws, the school system labeled them as bad student, bad children and eventually bad example. Innocent kids that do not understand better start to stay away from those "bad example" kids and learn that they should listen to the harsh judgement because they seems so true.
That is our society. That is the way we were taught since our young age. We were never taught how dress nicely doesn't determine the goodness of the heart. We were never taught that how you look doesn't determine your social status. We were never taught what a judgement could do to a person life.
I don't think that there are nobody in this world could avoid of being judge. Unless you live alone, I think. I have been labeled a b*tch, wh*re, busybody, know-it-all, hypocrites, fake, fame-wh*re, etc. Being young at the time, of course I was sad. And I don't think I am alone with this. I believe those who were my friends at the time got the same, possibly coming from my mouth as well.
Bad habit doesn't stop overnight. I am still struggling to not judge others. So far, I am doing good... I think. At least I never speak them out of my mind. I am not being hypercritical by doing that, I believe. I am just trying not to speak if I have nothing nice to say. It is a tragic thing but certainly beautiful that every people are not the same. A lot of people out there will judge what you do, what you wear, what you say, who you are with, how to live, etc. Nobody can stop it but themselves.
When I was struggling with my obesity, I got judged heavily. I think the time I was being obese were one of the darkest moment of my life. The Lobo had to stay sane for my crazy outburst whenever I was in bad mood. Yes. When people passed their judgement on me, the Lobo was the one who got the heat. For the love of God, he was always there for me. I even gave him ultimatum - to stay or leave. Thankfully, he stays.
My cellulite and stretch marks from the obese period is the only proof I got that I have lived through it. I may be 4kg overweight now, but I am not an obese anymore. I can see those faces of judgmental mind-fudge finally eat their words.
Don't think that judgments stop when I parading my new self. People still talk. People still judge. People still are people. But do I care? Not any more.
P/s.: Judges are paid to do their job, to judge. But if you are not a judge but trying so hard to do a FOC job, I have to say this: "You should apply for a certificate from *I don't Flaming know where on earth* so you can be a real judge and you won't waste your Flaming talent."
Do you know?
The strongest muscle in proportion to its size in the human body is the tongue.
KISS A LOT TO TRAIN THEM HARDER!!!
LoL!
- JV
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